Challenge Your Negative Thoughts
Usually, springtime feels like a positive season of renewal and rebirth. This year, however, I am working with many leaders who are struggling to turn down the loud naysayer in their head which is influencing their thoughts, actions, and decisions. It doesn’t help that as human beings, we are hardwired with a negativity bias, meaning we are more susceptible to negative stimuli than positive ones. Often, we are our own worst critics and because of this, turning off that inner chatter is not easy.
The one question I keep asking those I work with is, “How realistic is your thinking?” Whether catastrophizing, jumping to conclusions, or over-generalizing, we can stop our cycles of unhelpful thinking with that simple question. Often, we realize that our thoughts or “stories” are lacking in accuracy and sometimes even completely wrong. Once we realize that, we can take steps to replace the stories with more helpful thoughts!
This sounds simple enough – but challenging your negative thoughts is more difficult than just trying to think positively.
Tips to Quiet Your Inner Critic:
Grow your self-awareness. Since we are hardwired for negative self-talk, the first step is to become aware that you are having negative thoughts AND know when you are saying it. Understanding your personal triggers is essential to rewiring your thought patterns.
Dispute the thought. I recently had a coaching session where the individual said, “my boss doesn’t think I am doing a good job.” As the conversation progressed, this coachee realized that the boss never said that she was doing a poor job, in fact, the boss had given praise for the work. Eventually, this person realized that she was telling herself a story about her performance.
Practice self-love. Having full acceptance of who you are means accepting the fact that you, like all of us, are imperfect. When you can accept that your story matters simply because you matter, you are less likely to continue to speak to yourself the way you do and in doing so, you quiet that inner voice.
Embrace gratitude. It is well documented that gratitude improves emotional well-being and boosts happiness which can help to rewire negative thinking.
Take a breath and a moment to challenge and replace unhelpful thoughts. This can be enough to halt a downward spiral of negative thinking.
To learn more about your inner voice and how to embrace it, I recommend the book: Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It, by Ethan Kross. If you are interested in exploring more about challenging your negative thoughts, please contact us.
